Ohmigod this week has just kicked my ass. Every time I go home I fall asleep on the sofa and end up taking an hour to two hour nap. Which means I take that much longer to properly fall asleep later. But, on the plus side, I broke 50,000 words with Morgan! Which means I’ve hit the halfway point in the story (I’ll update the word count bars later).

This is the first time I’ve successfully written 50k words outside of Nanowrimo month and I view this as a good sign. Could it be that I’m learning, growing, and becoming more of a successful writer?

One major thing I finally finished was the first, big reveal of the book: Morgan’s past. I don’t know if I like how the reveal came around, but that’s something that can be looked at during revision. Anyway, it wouldn’t be surprising that, since this is the first time Morgan’s truthfully talked about her past in years, that she begins having nightmares again. Here’s one that I’m not quite sure I like:

“Please kid, don’t look at me,” Morgan said, cocking her revolver. It was a simple Colt and it only had one bullet left, yet that bullet already had this young boy’s name on it. “I’m sorry, kid, I really am. You haven’t done anything, I know. Just close your eyes, okay? Just close your eyes.”

Morgan’s breath hitched in a sob and she blinked back tears as she watched the young boy hesitate and then close his eyes. He was a rather brave kid; no tears, no begging, just a solemn expression that, in a way, was worse to witness. The revolver was shaking and Morgan took a deep breath.

“Kid,” she said, “I know you’re gonna be sore over this, and I — well, all I can say is I’m sorry. Someone’s pulling my strings, too.”

Suddenly, the young boy opened his eyes and lunged at her, screaming in anger, tackling her and causing her to fall back onto the floor. The gun fell from her hand and the kid straddled her stomach. His face was a mask of animalistic anger; his lips were drawn back in a sneer and his eyes flashed as he pushed his fingers against her chest, right above her heart. While his hands were curled into claws, they pushed against the skin until she felt it dent inward. Morgan’s head fell back and she stared up at the dark ceiling as the young boy dug into her flesh with his fingers. She felt the pain, but instead of being something horrific, it was liberating — it was right. She should suffer. She heard the sound of her flesh ripping open under the boy’s fingers and felt hot blood pool and flow down her body. She gave a soft sigh, as if she had been holding a breath, and smiled.

While this dream sequence shows things I really wanted to show: the guilt, the perverse yet hidden desire Morgan has for a painful justice, and the mixing of what really happened and what was just a dream built on intense remorse. But, at the end what I really wanted to write was the kid saying, “Kali-ma! Kali-ma!” while digging his fingers into her chest, because come on, it was ripe for reference, even though I don’t agree in perpetuating the myth of a blood-thirsty, cannibalistic cult to Kali. And, hey, I’d already done a Mary Poppins and a Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious reference. Yet, in the end, I resisted sweet, sweet temptation.

10:16 pm | Category: Morgan, Writing | | No Comments

Then again, I think English has spoiled me, which has been set up to be ridiculously easy sometimes it borders on the ridiculously difficult — like it goes too far in one direction.

Why am I checking out Russian, you ask? Because a character in “Morgan” is Russian, and, surprisingly, known only as “the Russian.” I don’t think I’ll tell his name — yet. He’s actually what became of another character that I had really liked named (dependent on the draft I was working on): Jonas, Lucas, or Jack. He was meant to be one of the few people that could scare Morgan and, in fact, in the old draft she comments:

Jack “Reaper” Hutton, known in the Underground as the most efficient and deadly killer-for-hire in the civilized world. Morgan, who was one of the few privy to his kill count, always felt her blood running cold when she thought of him. He looked normal enough — perhaps even bordering on the mundane and easily forgettable, the kind of guy the neighbors would probably describe as “nice and quiet” — but Morgan knew if there was one person who could bring her down, it was Jack. At one time, she had been sure that she’d take her last breath while looking into his cold eyes.*

Now parts of Jack have been chopped up and mushed into the Russian character, who has no history with Morgan. I doubt I’ll add Jack “Reaper” Hutton, but who knows? Maybe if this becomes a series (who am I kidding? I already know what I’d like a 2nd book to deal with) there’ll be a place for ol’ Jack.

But, damn, looking up Russian words for the Russian to say is difficult! Especially since the Russian language has a totally different alphabet and there seems to be only a very few Russian dictionaries online that will show the Russian word in the English alphabet (or, as I like to call it, “Runglish” ). I did, however, have much more success finding a website that listed Russian swear words. Go figure.

*Yeah, it’s rough. But that’s why it was a draft. And one that was ultimately completely rewritten, anyway.

10:07 pm | Category: Morgan, Writing | | No Comments

I did a writing exercise that I mentioned I’d be posting on Wynderlon.com. It’s a short short featuring Morgan and one of her many acquaintances, Seth. I don’t know yet if Seth will ever make an appearance in the series. Morgan knows a lot of different people through her years as an Adventurer. Since her field is pretty specialized — she mostly knows combat and export/import laws, since those are the two things she deals with — she makes contacts who know how to do other things. Seth is a tech-junkie and a very good hacker. I know I’ll be introducing another character in the first book, whose known for her ability to “acquire” anything. In fact, she and Morgan were partners for a little while.

The short short also includes some world building that I don’t know if it’ll ever get into the books I’m planning. I always seem to world build more than will probably be explored! It’s frustrating because some of the stuff about Morgan’s world is really neat, like the space program, the types of alternate energy, etc. This one is a mention of AmuTech, a pretty big conglomerate in Morgan’s world. They are best known for their computer and robotic work (they make individual parts, like Intel) but also have a car company called Coronado ( ) and a line of household appliances.

In the “Morgan” timeline, this piece of fiction is probably early on, before even book #1. I would say it would be two or three years after she left the corporation she used to work for (I don’t have my notes in front of me so I forget its name ). I didn’t mean for the ending to happen as it did, but it kind of happened that way. Seth probably should make another appearance sometime, he’s an interesting foil for Morgan’s out-spoken, emotional approach.

Anyway, the short fiction can be found here. Tell me what you think!

4:00 pm | Category: Morgan, Writing | | No Comments

I’ve been blocked on Tayce and Mattie. The sad thing is that I know exactly what I want to happen in Tayce, but when I try to write it, it sound stilted and pathetic. The other problem I’m having with Tayce is trying to show relationships between the characters. I want to slowly indicate her changing relationship with Henry: from distrust and dislike to grudging respect to trust to friendship. There are major events that spark each change in that relationship, too. I also am having trouble showing Cotter’s jealousy at this new, blossoming friendship between Tayce and Henry. I also have a large chapter where Cotter’s creation is finally revealed — and the only way I can think of doing it is with flashback, and flashbacks are a PAIN. I always think when I write in-scene flashbacks they are kinda cliche, you know, “cue fade-in” kind of stuff.

ANYway, I decided to try and get my writerly juices flowing again, I’ll try to write a short story with Morgan (in the timeline, the short story is before the novel). I’ve been meaning to write a few short stories, I need to practice with them — and maybe I’ll learn to tighten my writing if I write some short stories — and I wouldn’t mind sending them off to magazines and having something published. ??:

I really like how I began the short story, so I decided to add it here as a snippet. Enjoy!

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1:48 pm | Category: Morgan, Writing | | No Comments